Don't make out with my wife yet
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
