Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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