SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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