Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
