So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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