as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
