It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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