He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
