Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
