and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
