My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Operation Purity has been aborted
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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