I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
