Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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