sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
