JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
