Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So many bounce houses so little time
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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