On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
