I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
