You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
