She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
