oh god the rape fog is back!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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