I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
