I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
