Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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