You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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