Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
