He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
