i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
