I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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