she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
