i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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