so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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