wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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