Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
