I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
