The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
