Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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