...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
