my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
