there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
