the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
