Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
