why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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