On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
