Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
