Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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