He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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