I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
