this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
