Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
