hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
God, I missed his penis.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
