Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
