please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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